Maybe That’s Why I Left

Maybe that’s why I left. Why I hardly visit or when I visit I don’t stay long. At first, I’m greeted with hugs and smiles, but after a while, things seem strange everyone’s attitude changes. I can see that they weren’t happy I came. Now that I think about it, it’s always been that way. They smile in my face, yet when I leave I hear someone has said something bad about me. It took me a while to identify the reason no one wanted me around. I’m different. It all made sense. I have to admit it hurt. It felt like my heart was being ripped apart. As I grew older, I learned to deal with it. I learned to deal with not being invited to functions, feeling rejected, and talked about. I learned how to interact with them without getting hurt. Sometimes I loved them more than I believe they would ever be willing to love me. Often I heard, “You think you better than us.” That was far from the truth. I guess it was the way I carried myself. I didn’t tolerate foolishness, and I wanted no parts in it. I never thought I was better, I still don’t think I’m better than anyone. I discovered people will put you in a box and label it, “outsider” when they can’t relate to you. When you don’t agree with them. I knew I could do better, so I did. I wasn’t born to fit in. I’m special. I can’t help but stand out. Maybe that’s why I left. Why I hardly visit or when I visit I don’t stay long.

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash